Monday, July 5, 2010

Shoot the "2's"

There's an old joke about how to deal with the glut of lawyers. When law students sign up, they sign a contract which requires them at graduation to line up against a wall. The graduates count off by two and then we shoot the "2's".

I'm inclined to think that we should reconsider this old axiom. In the litigious society, lawyers are the only ones who benefit from anything. Some event happens -- say a natural disaster -- and the "first responders" are the lawyers. They circle tragedy like vultures looking for any opportunity to make money, not for the victims, but for themselves. Lawyers don't respond to events seeking restitution for victims, they DRIVE lawsuits seeking PROFIT for themselves. And the politicians don't help matters any. After all, most are lawyers themselves. Judges are also part of the brotherhood of greed formed by the legal community.

Do we need fewer lawyers, you bet we do. If the law schools don't stop churning them out by the thousands, perhaps we should take advantage of the conservative Supreme Court's recent second amendment decisions and declare open season on lawyers. That way, we can cull the herd, satisfy the blood lust of the gun lobby and, for once, benefit the actual victims of misfortune.